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Masturbate-A-Thon Saturday?

topic posted Wed, May 11, 2005 - 1:26 PM by  Unsubscribed
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I'm goin' and thought it might be fun to bring a little lady friend ;p) It's for a good cause!

Check out: www.masturbate-a-thon.org and let me know if you wanna join me (no pressure to partake of course).

Thanx.
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  • Re: Masturbate-A-Thon Saturday?

    Thu, May 12, 2005 - 12:21 PM
    this guy wants in:

    www.thechump.com/greetings.swf
    • Re: Masturbate-A-Thon Saturday?

      Thu, May 12, 2005 - 3:16 PM
      perhaps you should put a disclaimer not to open that link at work
      • Re: Masturbate-A-Thon Saturday?

        Thu, May 12, 2005 - 3:19 PM
        oh yeah..

        hey! dont open that at work!

        (sry dwan)
        • Unsu...
           

          Re: Masturbate-A-Thon Saturday?

          Thu, May 12, 2005 - 5:49 PM
          here's the faq from the event organizer (darklady) and she actually addresses the "sticky" situation:

          WHAT SHOULD I WEAR?
          Our theme this year is “Show and Tell.” Not as concrete a costuming
          concept
          as other themes we’ve had, this one nonetheless opens up a vista of
          possibilities to the creative. I will be wearing a black vinyl ribbon
          front
          corset and black vinyl mini skirt which will give me an opportunity to
          show
          off my new scar (among other things), for instance. Perhaps you will
          want to
          wear something of special meaning to you, something that shows off your
          fanny, your chest or breasts, your favorite tattoo or piercing, your
          beautiful eyes, your fabulous legs, your impeccable taste, or your
          creative
          use of color and texture. Allow your imagination to run free but,
          ultimately, wear something that will be comfortable, make you feel
          confident
          and sexy – and be accessible in case you choose to frolic in any of the
          play
          spaces.

          I'M ON THE RSVP LIST - NOW WHAT?
          After you enter the building, Darklings Ashley will meet you at the
          Will
          Call table. Any material donations you may have for Friends of People
          w/AIDS
          or Dandelion Animal Rescue may be placed in donation boxes and Ashley
          will
          accept your cash donations and give you a keepsake wristband once you
          have
          signed the party waiver. Those not bringing a product donation are
          asked to
          pay $25 and those who do bring a product donation are asked to pay $20.
          Once
          inside, you can check your coats at the cloakroom and proceed into the
          main
          ballroom.

          Smoking is only allowed outdoors and there are bathrooms both at the
          entrance and inside the sensual play space/Rubitorium (pronounced
          Roob-i-torium and named after one of Darklady’s beloved Darklings).

          If you or your guests have never attended a Darklady event before, you
          must
          introduce yourself to Darklady. She will be wearing eyeglasses, a red
          streak
          in her hair, a matching black vinyl skirt and corset. If you bring a
          guest,
          you are responsible for their behavior and will be asked to accompany
          them
          home if there's a problem - so choose your friends with care and
          wisdom.

          Expect door prizes!

          SHOW AND TELL US WHAT TO BRING TO EAT
          In addition to the delicious foods that you contribute to the basement
          potluck, Naughty Bakery will show us a thing or two about sexy cup
          cakes.
          The best foods to bring are finger foots and items such as salads,
          sandwiches, meatballs, deviled eggs, ‘Lil Smokies, quiches, fruit,
          bread,
          chips and dips, baked tofu, tabouli, hummus, cheeses, crackers, steamed
          and
          raw veggies, condiments, cookies, and brownies.

          TELL US WHAT’S TO DRINK
          The Scarlett Ballroom has a portable bar available for our use that
          will be
          staffed by Jessica and Alex, two lovely and talented (as well a very
          sexy)
          professional bartenders. They will have beer, wine, well drinks, sodas,
          and
          bottled water available for your refreshment. Available beers will be
          Miller
          Light and Fat Tire for $3.50. Wine and well drinks are $4. Soda, juice,
          and
          bottled water are $1.

          Whatever you choose to drink, please do so responsibly. There’s nothing
          sexy
          about being a sloppy drunk, so ingest wisely.

          TELL US ABOUT BIRTHDAY FANTASIES
          Every Darklady party includes the celebration of birthdays – which
          Darklady
          sees as the ultimate personal holiday. If your birthday falls within
          the
          months of March, April, or May make sure and let Darklady know what
          your
          birthday fantasy is. She’ll make sure you get a black lei (a fantasy in
          itself for some people) and that your fantasy is available for others
          to
          read and possibly help you fulfill. Requests so far include:

          Aaron would like to worship a woman's boots.
          Carl would like to play with both a transsexual and biological woman.
          Peggy hasn’t revealed her fantasy yet.
          Rodney would like nude stroking from multiple women before a light
          spanking.
          Savannah would like a trans-friendly hunk to stroke her hair gently
          with his
          fingers.

          WHO CAN SHOW US OUR WAY?
          Larry Foltz (www.larryfoltz.com) is an unusually cuddly and eerily
          insightful emotive counselor (aka “psychic”). He will be available to
          show
          you insights into love and life (past or present) for a mere $10 per
          consultation and has kindly contributed a gift certificate good for 30
          minutes his time to a lucky silent auction basket winner. And
          gentlemen?
          This absolutely luscious bear with vision is available. Perhaps you can
          show
          and tell him a few things?

          WHAT KIND OF ENTERTAINMENT WILL WE SEE AND HEAR?
          From 7:00 pm until 10:00 pm and then from midnight until party close,
          DJs
          Chaotiqueer and Powered By Atari will spin sexy and self indulgent
          tunes for
          your dancing and solo or shared solo love-making audio pleasure.

          From 10:00pm until midnight, the eroti-techno-tribal-fund beat of FULL
          BRAZIL will make your pulse pound.

          We'll be playing party games throughout the evening again this year.
          Although the Mistress of the Party Games hasn't yet revealed this
          year's
          assortment, last year there was great fun had at Human Twister, Spin
          the
          Bottle, and Truth or Dare. And then, of course, there’s the Silent
          Auction
          and congratulations to be offered the winner of Darklady’s Show and
          Tell
          Writing Contest.

          WHAT ABOUT THE SILENT AUCTION?
          In addition to door prizes handed out because it's fun to give away
          cool
          stuff, this year's Masturbate-a-Thon will have a silent auction as part
          of
          its fundraiser aspect. So please bring your checkbook or a wad of cash
          to
          bid on some truly amazing themed prize baskets including two Romantic
          Overnight baskets (one especially for the boys) a BBW basket, a Big
          Teaze
          Toys basket, an XTC Leather of NY basket, and others. This is
          Darklady's
          first silent auction, so please bear with her as she figures out how
          these
          things work. You can view the baskets and write your bids down near the
          cloak room. You must be present to win (or else someone Darklady knows
          she
          can trust) and winners will be announced at approximately 11:00 pm.

          Although Darklady is still accepting donations and assembling the
          baskets,
          below are some of the items that you will have the chance to bid on.
          Remember: it’s all for charity:

          Two one-night stays at the Jupiter Hotel (retail value $99 +)
          Dinner at No Fish! Go Fish! (retail value $30)
          Buffalo leather travel bag (retail value $69.95)
          Black leather vest (retail value $59.95)
          Leather handbag (retail value $49.95)
          Psychic reading from Larry Foltz (retail value $30.00)
          Gift certificate to It's My Pleasure ($15.00)
          Gift certificate to Torrid ($25.00)
          Gift certificate for "Kinky Friendly" hair care from Jay Greenman
          ($30.00)
          Fetish items from Spartacus Leathers and XTC Leather of NY
          Toys for boys and toys for girls from Topco Sales
          Erotica & sex instruction from Black Books
          An assortment of Big Teaze Toys vibrating ducks, fish, inch worms, and
          suckers
          DVDs from Skintight Pictures' "Chunky" BBW series (Darklady's fave!)
          DVDs from Adam & Eve
          Anime Japanese Love Doll
          Carmen Luvana's Vibrating Love Pussy
          Two photos by Bridgette Harrington (including one featuring Darklady's
          mons
          pubis)
          HomegrownVideo.com memberships
          ChickShack.com memberships
          Graceandbeauty.com membership
          Bottles of wine
          Bottles of sparkling cider
          And more, more, more.

          WILL WE SEE ANY VENDORS THIS YEAR?
          Since Darklady has organized a fantastic silent auction this year, the
          party
          is light on vendors. Our friends from Dancing Muse will have a table in
          the
          basement featuring a number of light, fun, and inexpensive items – as
          well
          as an assortment of incredibly inexpensive adult DVDs from Darklady’s
          collection. Please pay a visit to the vendor’s table and help relieve
          Darklady of all those porn DVDs that keep cluttering up her floor
          space!

          SHOW US SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE SEXUAL
          The amazing ThrillHammer (www.thethrillhammer.com) will be making
          another
          visit. Explore this truly astonishing marriage of Pacific Northwest
          technology and pleasure and compare it to the intense pleasures of the
          Sybian, which will also be available in the Rubitorium when its owners
          are
          there.

          The Casting Couch camera will be set up in the main ballroom and will
          broadcast images of your frolicking elsewhere in the party space.

          Remember: this is the Masturbate-a-Thon – so no intercourse until
          midnight.
          Other than that, it’s anything goes because Darklady thinks
          masturbation can
          be a solo as well as companion activity that employs hands, mouths, and
          toys.

          WHAT ABOUT SAFER SEX SUPPLIES?
          Safer sex supplies will be located in the Rubitorium. Use what you need
          while you are engaged in sensual activities but leave some for the next
          guy
          (or gal). You will find condoms (flavored and regular), dental dams,
          latex
          and non-latex gloves, lube (flavored and regular), and Cum
          Clean/Pleasure
          Wipes (www.gswipes.com) for freshening your naughty bits after
          intimacy.
          Although I refuse to play Safer Sex Cop, I do strongly encourage you to
          use
          protection whenever playing intimately with someone you do not know
          well.

          Also, PLEASE throw your used safer sex supplies away in the trashcans
          available in the Honeymoon Suite. Although we love every single one of
          you
          in a very special way, it doesn’t mean we want to be fluid bonded with
          you,
          especially second hand.

          WHAT IF I WANT SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE – KINKY?
          Darklady understands that sometimes one must punish the flesh in order
          to
          pleasure it, and thus she cheerfully provides you a kinky play space in
          which to negotiate your more colorful . You’ll find a bondage frame, a
          freestanding sex swing, and who knows what else? There will be Dungeon
          Monitors in attendance – so if a person in a DM sash asks you to move
          over
          in order to avoid putting someone’s eye out, do what the nice DM says.

          You are welcome to bring any play furniture that you would like to use
          or
          share with others. Accommodations are not right for scat, piss, or
          blood
          play scenes. If you have an edgy scene you'd like to engage in, check
          with
          Darklady in advance for a possible dispensation. When in the S/M area,
          keep
          a safe distance from action you are not involved with and avoid
          interrupting
          those engaged in activities, unless you must. Those playing with wax
          must
          bring their own plastic and clean up after themselves.

          WHAT IS THE DARKLADY PARTY PHILOSOPHY?
          Darklady parties strive to create a safe and comfortable pansexual
          environment where mutually consenting adults of many flavors can
          respectfully express and explore their sensuality, make new friends,
          try new
          things, discover new communities, and have fun.

          Guests come from many different social and lifestyle groups, including
          polyamory, swinging, BDSM, Burning Man, the Cacophony Society, GLBT --
          and
          anywhere and everywhere else imaginable. You will meet all kinds of
          people:
          straight, gay, bisexual, transgendered, monogamous, non-monogamous,
          kinky,
          and vanilla. You will rub elbows - and who knows what else - with
          writers,
          artists, musicians, photographers, massage therapists, IT
          professionals,
          teachers, parents, and people who earn their keep in an infinitely
          variable
          assortment of ways. Most guests are local while others travel from out
          of
          state. Some are savvy and experienced and others are just beginning
          their
          journeys of self-exploration. All are welcome if they come with an open
          mind, good manners, a respectful attitude, and a desire to contribute
          to the
          success of the evening by their presence.

          DARKLADY's PRIMARY PARTY RULE
          Darklady parties strive to create a safe and comfortable pansexual
          environment where mutually consenting adults can respectfully express
          and
          explore their sensuality, make new friends, try new things, discover
          new
          communities, and have fun.

          Guests come from many different social and lifestyle groups, including
          polyamory, swinging, BDSM, Burning Man, the Cacophony Society, GLBT,
          and
          anywhere and everywhere else one can imagine. You will meet all kinds
          of
          people: straight, gay, bisexual, transgendered, monogamous,
          non-monogamous,
          kinky, and vanilla. You will rub elbows - and who knows what else -
          with
          writers, artists, musicians, photographers, massage therapists,
          accountants,
          computer professionals, teachers, parents, and people who earn their
          keep in
          an infinitely variable assortment of ways. Most guests are local while
          others travel from out of state. Some are savvy and experienced and
          others
          are just beginning their journeys of self-exploration. All are welcome
          if
          they come with an open mind, a respectful attitude, good manners, and a
          desire to contribute to the success of the evening by their presence.
          Guests
          who come exclusively in the hopes of "scoring" will probably not have
          as
          good a time as those who come hoping to make friends.

          THANK YOU for attending the 4th Annual Portland Masturbate-a-Thon! Even
          as
          long as this FAQ is, there’s probably something that didn’t get
          covered.
          Feel free to write to Darklady with any questions, comments, or
          request.

          WANT TO REMEMBER THIS NIGHT FOREVER?
          Of course you do! So visit the Portland Masturbate-a-Thon Café Press
          shop at
          www.cafeshops.com/masturbateathon.

          WHAT WILL DARKLADY DO NEXT?
          June 25: Transsexual porn performer Buck Angel tells about “Love and
          Lust
          During Time of Transition: an F-to-M Perspective” at Portland State
          University.
          June 25: Play party at Venom with Buck Angel and friends.
          (www.transexual-man.com) August 26 – 28: Darklady competes for the
          title of
          Ms. World Leather (www.msworldleather.com) More Parties, Workshops,
          Meet &
          Greets, and Special Interest Group activities!

          WHY ARE WE DOING THIS AGAIN?
          Remember folks, it's all for charity.

          Dandelion Animal Rescue
          Friends of People with AIDS (www.friendspwa.org)
          Center for Sex and Culture (www.centerforsexandculture.org)
          Woodhull Freedom Foundation (www.woodhullfoundation.org)

          THANK YOU TO DARKLADY’S SPONSORS:
          Fantasy Adult Video (www.fantasyadultvideo.com)
          Yanks.com (www.yanks.com)

          THANK YOU TO DARKLADY’S DONORS:
          Adam & Eve (www.adameve.com)
          Adult Toy Chest (www.adulttoychest.com)
          Jonathyn Andrews (www.jonathynandrews.com)
          Big Teaze Toys (www.bigteazetoys.com)
          Chick Shack (www.chickshack.com)
          Cum Kleen & Pleasure Wipes (www.gswipes.com)
          Custom Erotica Source (www.customeroticasource.com)
          Evolve Fish (www.evolvefish.com)
          Filthy Cabbage in Lincoln City, Oregon
          Larry Foltz (www.larryfoltz.com)
          Jay Greenman (www.graceandbeauty.com)
          ID Lube (www.idlube.com)
          It's My Pleasure at 3106 NE 64th in Portland
          Jupiter Hotel (www.jupiterhotel.com)
          Male Flixx (www.maleflixxx.tv)
          Scott L. Morgan, Seattle Leather Daddy 2005
          Mr. Peeps Adult Superstores in Portland and Aloha
          Naughty Bakery
          No Fish! Go Fish! (www.nofishgofish.com)
          Rope Lover (www.ropelover.com)
          Skintight Pictures (www.skintightpictures.com)
          Spartacus Leathers (www.spartacusleathers.com)
          Topco (www.topcosales.us)
          Torrid (www.torrid.com)
          XTC Leather of NY (www.xtcleather.com)

          -- Darklady
          www.darklady.com
          www.masturbate-a-thon.org
          groups.yahoo.com/group/TheDarkAtrium
          • Unsu...
             

            Re: Masturbate-A-Thon Saturday?

            Thu, May 12, 2005 - 7:09 PM
            woah dood, that was ridiculously long...

            lol to the video clip, mucho funny...

            but this - The average number of times a male will ejaculate from masturbation in his lifetime is 2000.

            i just want to disagree with that. anybody else think this sounds acurate?
            • Re: Masturbate-A-Thon Saturday?

              Thu, May 12, 2005 - 8:09 PM
              well... lets see... 365 days in a year, figure... say 15 'days off' a year so... 350... 37 years old... started pulling myself off when i was what age? hmmmm...

              dude...

              i'm well past 2000. if my life is half over (or that i can continue to get it up into my mid 60s), i might count on 10x that.
            • Re: Masturbate-A-Thon Saturday?

              Fri, May 13, 2005 - 4:00 PM
              2000 times??

              hell, I know repressed mormons that masturbate more than that.

              come now...people...remember when you first discovered the beauty that is masturbation....man...i had to remember to stop just to go to school. then there are the days when you are bored...no one is around...your unemployed...there is a high speed internet connection...

              of course this is the male geek perspective. I wouldn't want to speak for the rest of the men around here...
              • 2001, a Masturbate-A-Thon

                Sat, May 14, 2005 - 11:42 AM
                I'd say 2,000 times a year is about accurate

                but ever since I've started the Tantra class, each time takes 28 minutes now and you're not supposed to cum... at least not all the time, you're supposed to ride that wave... so, that's bringing the average down a bit...

                on the other hand, (parden the pun) riding the wave sure is interesting...
                • Re: 2001, a Masturbate-A-Thon

                  Sun, May 15, 2005 - 4:18 PM
                  " I'd say 2,000 times a year is about accurate"

                  A YEAR? That's three times a day! Do you work or have hobbies?

                  And it was supposed to be to ejaculation. I think if you're pulling a Tantra Fandango and there ain't a happy finish, then it just shouldn't count.

                  But seriously, if I did the pants-pop three times a DAY, I wouldn't get a damn thing done!

                  Although, I suppose if I win the lottery and I want to submit SOMETHING to the Guinness Book of World Records, this would be a fine way to start. Beats stacking dominoes.
            • Re: Masturbate-A-Thon Saturday?

              Sun, May 15, 2005 - 4:13 PM
              "The average number of times a male will ejaculate from masturbation in his lifetime is 2000."

              Such a funny phrase. It makes me wonder about the statistics regarding masturbating withOUT ejaculating (usually meaning someone's come home early, dammit).

              (Intermission to IM cute girlfriend)

              And only 2000 times in a lifetime? Well, I think there are lots of people who would disagree with that number (and the raw data wouldn't hurt to see), but the numbers run out like this:

              Consider how many years a fella will be able to play a game of Wrestle With The Pope. Let's say, twenty years. (figure, from the age of 15 to the age of 35 -- an OOMA estimate). That works out to about 100 times a year during that ten-year span, or just about twice a week (taking a break on Thanksgiving because relatives are over and Christmas because you just don't feel comfortable pullin' it, knowing that al the kids are wide awake hoping to hear Santa Claus)

              (intermission to surf Internet porn)

              But then, you've got folks who have been brainwashed by parents/religion/society to think that it's wrong and evil. Those folks will lie like a rug when you ask them about it.

              (Intermission to fantasize about all-girls young adult Catholic school)

              So, that'll skew the results.

              I think 2000 is probably low, but there's no telling, really, when you consider how uptight we are as a society.

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